Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Childhood Memories.......

I had a visit from one of my 'best' childhood friends yesterday. She and her husband were in the area playing 'tourists' and we met for lunch. What a fun day.....catching up on our adult lives.....reminiscing about our childhood.....and disbelieving our current ages!! We had "lost" each other, only to find ourselves on facebook....searching. Thirty-years is so much history to cover! But, we'll spend the next thirty-years being present in each others lives and 'catching up'!!

What do you remember about your childhood homes? Do you remember colors? Fabrics? Furniture style? Are there colors that invoke warmth, comfort, and good memories, therefore---you use them in your own home? Or do you avoid hues that color your memories? I think of shimmering royal blues and olive greens and see a childhood living room....drapery fabric billowing from the breeze and open windows.

What were your favorite colors when you were a child? Were you allowed to surround yourself in 'your' color? Did you have your own 'space'? I see the 'hot pink' walls of my childhood bedroom and remember how much fun it was to be allowed to choose my own paint color! Do you foster that creativity in your own children?

Just some things to think about today......how does color influence your life? Or better yet....does it influence each day?

Saturday, March 19, 2011


So, today was spent with friends. Why was it so exhausting?? Why do I feel as though I didn't speak a full sentence in 5 hours?! I'm serious! Do you ever have those kind of souls in your life? The kind that you love, you know there's a heart of gold just beating away in their chest, but they just SUCK the ever-lovin' life right out of you! Any of you have those?


I'm tired. It was a beautiful day that started out cloudy and looked like the sky was going to open up and pour rain down upon us and our cookout. But, it didn't! The sun pushed those clouds right out of our way and shone down upon us....with a smile! The food was typical, pedestrian 'cookout' food.....lots of mayonnaise and charred meats. The kids were running around, screamin' and yellin', getting into trouble, and even doing a bit of arguing and bickering of their own!

I'm home now.....in my living room. Which, by the way, is close to being done! The touch up paint is done now. THAT was a chore all by itself. My quart of touch up paint was in a different finish than the original paint! So.........after I had already painted a bunch of spots, I had to go buy a gallon of the color in an Eggshell finish. I pretty much had to re-paint most of the entire walls! Ugh. But----it's done. I have just a few pieces on the walls.....that is all I want. As I clear out my house, I find that I am doing the same with my life.....clearing out the clutter and only leaving the LOVE.

I have a new rug to put in the living room. It's an oval, braided rug in browns. Trying to keep the floor simple and using accents and color in the other accessories in the room. Red is the accent color of choice. I just love it with this "Blue Shamrock" color. It's a bit cottag-y and I'm in love with the comfort of that decor.

Now I have to switch gears and come up with some design ideas for my daughter's new home. I've purchased a few decor items, have the color scheme and a pretty good idea of what I want it to look like. There is one area of "concern"......the floor plan is pretty open and the living room 'flows' into the dining area of the kitchen. A chair rail starts in one corner of the dining area, but just ENDS where the "living area" starts. So, how to paint that? How to deliniate that wall? It's an interesting challenge. Do I use fabric to create a small 'divider'? Do I use molding in a vertical fashion to create a 'line'? Hmmmm.......time to do some research.

I am wondering if others notice a correlation between their life and their home?!? Does clutter bespeak of a "cluttered" life? Does an empty room echo into the empty life? Does a multi-purposed (but disaster) of a room convey the confusion that is felt in its human?? Any answers out there in this wired-together world??

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Heart & Home

In the ever present desire for a welcoming and "me" living room, I will be once again perusing the aisles of the TJ Maxx Homesource Store. Ever since Sasha passed away and I removed his big bird cage from the room.......it feels empty and echo-ey. Sad. So------everything came off the walls! Nail holes have been filled, touch up paint is just in the can.....waiting to be used. But, as is the rest of my life, I feel unsure, unmotivated and so confused. Is this 'shell' of a room representative of how I feel inside? Am I the only 40-something woman who feels this way? I married sooooo young, had my girls by the time I was 2o yrs. old. I have been married for thirty-years and I have two grandchildren. I am ONLY forty-eight years old. Wow.....am I that old??? When I gained weight over six years ago, I truly believed that once I had the diagnosis of hypothyroid and was given medications to take, the weight would fall right off. Oh how naive I was! I don't think I've lost a single pound since my diagnosis. Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, Medifast, Atkins......you've all failed me. I should be your case study, Jenny Craig!! I go to the gym and workout like a fiend. I truly have 'guns'!!!!!! Lots of fat, too...... The only thing I have lost is my self-esteem.....and I have learned that there are 'loved' ones in our lives who DO judge, who DO contribute to the self-loathing. It's been not only a depressing experience, it's also been eye-opening. But, it has left me lower than low. I continue to walk around, pretending to be happy. Giving and loving to everyone around me. I smile. I laugh. I hug. And I can hear my own heartbeat echoing in this empty shell. If I work on decorating the living room, am I just pasting a smile on the walls of it??? Is it a facade? Or will it be the beginning of my own healing....peeling back the old layers and finding my new ones? It is time for me to be decisive, time to take action.......can I? Will I?